I used to believe that life was all about this elaborate balancing act between family, work, playtime, church, extended family, friends and hobbies. Finding balance seemed impossible to me because I've always tended to be a "yes" sort of person but I'm not a calendar person. I've always relied on my great memory. But then I hit my 40's. Now I'm learning how to use a calendar. I used to buy calendars just for the cool pictures. The little squares stayed mostly blank. Thankfully, I now have my iPhone calendar and I set alarms and reminders as much as I possibly can. Very helpful.
Lately, thanks to some incredible teaching by Bob Sojgren, I've come to realize that for me, it's not about balance, it's about harmony. This realization has taken an incredible burden of guilt off my back. As an "artist," I've always struggled with balance. I can get caught up in a song/project (or two or eleven) for hours, leaving dishes in the sink, unfolded laundry on my bed, and kids waiting at the curb at school.
The concept of harmony really strikes a chord (yes, ok, I know) deep within me. For some people, life is a perfect balance of melody and harmony. Imagine a piano or harpsichord playing a deceptively simple Bach invention. Clean. Manageable. Easy on the ears. Not many surprises. Definitely some beautiful harmonies going on. And counter melodies. A satisfying experience leaving you sure that all is right in the world.
For others, life is more of a constant give and take between harmony, melody and dissonance. That's more of how I'd describe my life. Imagine a full symphony orchestra, brimming with instruments, percussion, even a gong. Beautiful. Complex. Unpredictable. Sweet then angry then trembling then mournful then rising in intensity to glorious resolution. Think Shostakovich. There are definitely some incredible moments of harmony then, not surprisingly, some intense dissonance, then more harmony, then just some melody, then maybe some more harmony and an occasional gong just to shake things up. More of a resplendent feast feeding the depths of my soul.
I love having Bach days once in a while. And believe me, they are more like once in a blue moon. But the rest of my days are really more in line with Shostakovich. And so my family and I dance a dance that is unique for us and these crazy times we live in. When the kids were younger, we instituted Family Fun
Night. It was rare but memorable. Board games, popcorn made on the stove, soda, movies, special
meal. Now that Alyssa is married and the boys are 15 & 19, we try really hard to spend time together over meals. I keep listening to what my sons are saying with their actions. I stock up on favorite foods for lunches. I send text messages often. I'm constantly trying to figure out how to be a part of their increasingly independent worlds. We all go to church together every Sunday. I "allow" my sons to be on the worship tech team (they are the tech team). We take them to Africa with us on short-term missions with e3. We are all about ministry. It's the fabric of our lives. It's what we've been called and gifted to do. We also love just hanging out together. I'm the practical parent who drives the kids to Walmart in the middle of the night for school supplies or socks or a certain type of shampoo. Dan is the fun parent. He spends a lot of time just hanging out with Mike & Steve. They watch movies, go paintballing, shooting, camping, dirt-biking, hiking. We know without a doubt that Team Berryman is worth fighting for so we go to sometimes extraordinary lengths to preserve and nurture our relationships with God and each other!!
This post is part of the Family Fun Time Giveaway sponsored by High Calling Blogs. There's a random drawing sometime this week and Team Berryman could possibly win a free family weekend at the beautiful Laity Lodge family camp in Texas.